" Ask Me" Advice Column

We all know that divorce can be ugly but also can infect the children. When handling a divorce everything can get involved and the most important thing is that the children have to deal with the after math. You cant stop the process but yall fighting and fussing in front of the children is only going to traumatize them. That’s not a healthy way of raising your children in ugly disputes.

The main reason for children having depression and problems growing in a divorce situation is that there is no right or wrong. When the children are involved they don’t deserve to be around that type of environment because it affects them the most. Children are a lot smarter then we think they are. A lot of time we forget that children are the reason for many disputes to be settled. You got to work together for the kids regardless. That is a must, work it out figure out how you going to be a parent and raise your child in a divorce situation and a most safe and healthy upbringing.

Several reasons that children get involved could result in child’s behavioral situations and they future relationships. This could ruin many bridges in a Child's life before its even noticeable. This is the time to get together and explain to them that the two of all are no longer together but will always be parents and raise them and would never do other wise. You need to explain to them that regardless of the divorce that yall will always be apart of their life’s and sometimes it wont be good times but yall wont ever give up on them.

Make the most out of what you got and do what’s right for them, when raising children you wanna look out for their best interest and having a divorce and having them witness the issues and causing only drama in their mind as a way to compromise with life. Be thoughtful of the child’s sake and not what your going through emotionally or dramatically. It shouldn’t be the main goal to get back at each other but to raise your children in a better way of understanding a divorce and not thinking it’s a bad thing but a disagreement.

Teach them that you will always love the other parent but yall cant get along. And that that’s the way parents deal with things when they no longer are involved together. You need to teach them at a early age so when they get older they have a understanding of what a real divorce means instead of the wrongful way of people explaining what it means.