" Ask Me" Advice Column

Name the offense so it's clear to you. you wanna notice what you have done to this person for them to forgive you. Sometimes people don't realize the pain that we cause on others until its too late, then when its too late we don't realize what we done to lose that person trust or their friendship.... Take a diary and write notes and things down that you felt that caused this friendship to crumble.

 Find someone non judgmental to talk to. It helps to get everything out, whether it's a counselor or friend or God Praying may be the main focus to figuring it out. find peace within yourself before you can heal anybody Else's scars. you got to forgive yourself. We can sometimes get caught up in what we done and not what we still going through for causing that on somebody else. first figure out what your feeling to help them out.

Allow yourself the emotions that you caused on them, whether they are pain, anger, betrayal, etc. Understand where they are within the process of forgiveness you. Not everybody going to end up open arms and smiles you may caused deep scars and unhealthy damages by the choices you made. sometimes you got to figure out what caused this. the way you approach them should be the way you would want somebody to approach you. over the top extra dramatic apology only make things worst put your put in the other persons shoes and feel what they have felt by your choices.

Decide if you want to confront the offender (peacefully!) This could be through a letter or conversation. If the relationship is worth saving, it's worth a try. If not, let it go. So when approaching take steps don't over load more then you can carry. give that person time to recover from the situation. follow your first intuitions and go with what your emotions takes you..

Do something symbolic. A counselor will have you write a letter to the sitter pouring out your grief and hatred. Then, you tore it up and throw it away. It was very liberating, kind of like your letting go of the pain. Its a easy step for relationships and sometimes close friendships

Realize forgiving doesn't make it ok. Forgiveness doesn't excuse the person from the wrong they did; it just allows you to move on with your life without the burden of hatred or anger.